Within The Perimeters - A friend in need is a friend in deed
A friend in need is a friend in deed is a familiar catch-phrase that all of us have heard perhaps during our school days or while having a tete-atete or in the open with anyone, anywhere, sanctimonious in its natural definition.
What is the difference between friend, colleague, mate and the list goes on. Have you heard of the song ‘That’s What Friends Are For’ by Dionne Warwick and the original is by Rod Stewart?
Keep smiling and keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That’s what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I’ll be on your side forever more
That’s what friends are for
I was sitting quietly minding my own business while engrossed with my book in one of the restaurants at The Pavilion when I took cognisance of someone that I thought I knew, my former office colleague some twelve years ago traversing up and down just outside the Al fresco where I was dining. Cacophony of the hustling and bustling of people going about their shopping could not distract me from my attention to this friend of mine as I yelled at him by his name, William and he looked at me in an utterly gobsmacked manner. At first he could not recognised me but when I stood up, thank God he could remember me and walked straight to me and we gave ourselves a ‘bear-hug’ as we were buddies during those days.
William is a mensch and his profundity in his discipline as someone with a shipping knowledge is immense and well respected in the shipping fraternity. On the other hand, William is a philanthropist and his generosity and munificent character to always give to the poor and keep the barest pittance for him is much to be desired by ordinary man of such standing. He is always there for a friend! And so we started to reminisce the good old days but as the conversation went on, I could see his teary eyes and asked him what had happened. He told me without any hesitation that he had lost his job in the same company that I used to work and had also lost his wife due to “Multiple Myeloma’, cancer of the muscles about a year ago.
Both, his children, a boy and a girl have married and the boy is working in London while his daughpheter now resides in Australia with her own family. Where am I getting to my topic of friend, let me go on.
William told me that his colleague back in the office had backstabbed him and put the blame on him for a job that had gone hay-wired and he was accused of it and later got sacked, for a lack of a better word. He could not defend himself and the allegation was dovetailed as it was orchestrated well by this so-called friend and he had no alibi and he was really fixed. To make matters worse, he was ostracised by his other friends and even his own family dumped him. I had to calm him down as he looked languid and offered him some ‘Darjeeling tea’ and scones to make him composed. I asked him what is he doing right now and he told me he just wants to die.
Now, the question is, where are all his friends, relatives, and family to lend him the support that he needed badly and right now? In the song knowing you can always count on me for sure is suppose to be able to back your friend whether in good times or bad times so that we’ll be by their side forever more because that’s what friends are for. Or, is it just a song that we listen but probably we don’t comprehend?
‘I think the best friendships are those that can stand the test of time, where the friendship is based more on who you are than on what you do or what you have’. Steve Pavlina
It is an awesome feeling when you find another person that you can have a great connection with, you can learn from one another through thick and thin and as they always say, BFF (Best Friends Forever) but is there such thing as BFF? Friends that can get and understand us, who can laugh with and maybe even cry, who know our deepest, darkest secrets and who will always be there for us no matter what conditions we are in. Perhaps more importantly, are we that type of friend???
Developing a long lasting friendship over the course of a few hours, weeks, months, years or even decades can be exciting, fun and enriching journey.
After all, it’s the relationships we have with others and with ourselves that make life truly fulfilling.
But building long-lasting friendships that can stand the test of time isn’t always easy. They need to be nurtured and care for to withstand the time with copious effort with a smorgasbord of challenges. I managed to ‘pull some strings’ with my other friends and got William a good job with a good pay and he’s currently on a date with a girl and from the eavesdrop, they are going to start a new family soon. I am happy for William as the wedding bell is about to go off soon.
A friendship resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated; often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them.
Can we find that kind of friend, a true friend, now, that is the question. To all my friends out there whom I call friends and I the ones that I can depend and rely upon, this is what I will say, I will never give you more than you can take…I will let you bend but I will never let you break…
Keep hunting for those kinds of friends and you shall seek happiness for eternity.
Aminalrashid Mohd Hussain is a bibliophile, logophile as well as epeolatry. He loves to connect with people and believes in the saying “A smile costs nothing but gives much”. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org
The views expressed are entirely the writer’s own.
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